From North Central Oklahoma Ostomy Outlook Dec 1998:

What a Night Before Christmas!

by Marjorie Kaufman, Los Angeles (CA) Los Ostomy News; via Winnipeg (MB) Inside-Out

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.

The children were nestled in childish alliance,
And I had decided to change my appliance.

So donning my P.J.s, my slippers and robe,
I started my chore with the patience of Job.

All of the equipment I laid out with care.
Then checked it all over to see what was there.

Here's solvent, adhesive, now Kleenex and cotton
There's Benzoin, Karaya, what have I forgotten?

Eye dropper and swab stick, skin ointment, detergent;
Then cleanser and brushes, the bag - that's most urgent.

Then off with the old one, I started forthright
To remove the cement, when out went the light.

I reached for the switch, tho I don't know what for,
When I heard something clatter and bounce on the floor.

I muttered an oath, then I called to my spouse,
Who told me 'twas darkened all over the house.

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a flickering candlelight coming too near.

"Ye Gads!" I screamed loudly, perhaps none too soon.
"Not that! You might blow us from here to the moon!"

Then I viewed my dilemma, in utter confusion,
And failed to come up with a happy conclusion.

When all of a sudden, there came on the wall,
The beams of a flashlight, that danced down the hall.

Its rays were not brilliant. Its batteries weary,
But the light that it gave me was welcome and cheery.

I aimed at the floor, and the light gently twinkled;
For there in profusion Karaya was sprinkled.

Now time was the essence, on speed I was bent;
The cotton kept sticking upon the cement.

My face-plate was drying, my fingers were gummy,
The stoma was oozing a trail down my tummy.

Then swabbing, cementing and fanning with vigor;
I knew that I had to be quick on the trigger.

The light was receding, my nerves were a jangle;
I slapped on the bag at a quite rakish angle.

I fastened my belt, gave a shake of my head;
Then closed the door tightly and headed for bed.

But there's one thing I'll wish you
'Fore saying Good Night;
May your Christmas be Merry,

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