Things Not To Do If You're An Ostomate
via Chicago North Suburban and Halifax (NS)
This is a collection of items compiled from the Internet and many other
sources. It is just a reminder that we should not take ourselves too
- Drop a clip in the toilet. It is a prudent idea to always carry a
- Stand up too quickly when the clip is caught on the edge of the toilet
seat. Most of us have gotten up too quickly and ended up stopped instantly
in mid-air because the clip caught on the inside edge of the toilet seat.
The clip will lift the seat and you feel like a fish caught on the end of
a line. Quite a bad visual, but we only do it once, or maybe twice; no,
we'll make this goof our whole lives and it will surprise us every time.
This is especially a problem for a woman. Imagine being at someone's home
and dropping the toilet seat loudly just before you leave the bathroom.
Everyone just looks and wonders why a woman would be dropping a toilet
- When drying your appliance with a hair dryer, use the cool setting
only. Plastic melts!
- Do not have your dog jump on you when your pouch is full. The dog's
nails will puncture the pouch.
- Drink Power Ade Mountain Blast or Gatorade Blue Bolt before a doctor
visit. It turns your output bright green. This is especially true if you
have an ileostomy. All food dye turns your stool the color of the dye,
temporarily. It will surprise you the first time it happens. This includes
Blue Hawaiians or red beets. Beets make you look like you are bleeding to
- For men only: You may want to angle the pouch toward your leg. This
warning is especially true if you use a drainable pouch. This will keep
the clip away from your private parts. Sorry if this is a wee bit graphic
for the faint of heart, but it will make you more comfortable.
- For women only: The clip may bother you also. You have the same
option. Also, keep the clip away from a sanitary napkin. If the clip gets
caught on the pad's adhesive, the clip could be pulled off.
- Put a cat on your lap. A cat's claw could cause a tear in your pouch.
If you sleep with a cat, they sometimes curl up next to it when you sleep
to keep warm.
- Beer may blow up your pouch with gas. This may be helpful when you
need a flotation device.
- Don't accidentally lean against an oven door, barbecue grill or
fireplace. The pouch melts quickly.
- Don't put underarm type deodorants around the pouch or barrier. It is
made of either plastic or a latex material and will dissolve it. If you
want to use some type of odor control--although modern pouches are odor
proof--use mild mouthwash or one of the commercially made products that
will not harm your stoma or your pouch. Many chemicals can damage an