From Stillwater-Ponca City (OK) Ostomy Outlook April 1999:

For all you Chocoholics!!

Humor via Northern Virginia The Pouch

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

Problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, it may be a sign of a deeper problem.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the refrigerator. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.


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Content last revised 1999-04-18